After these twenty-two years of life there is much which I can wisely say. I take authority in my knowledge as I have lived and felt as fulfilled as a glass which is half full. Needless to say, at this point it’s not about how full the glass is, but rather the quality of the contents- but enough with mixed metaphors! On to the betterment and the fulfillment of a balanced, healthy, and nutritious diet of proper conduct- be it in the mastery of citizenship, or the carefully pruned friendship.

  1. In the mornings always eat breakfast for it will keep you as regular as the day you were born.
  2. When you are affronted or harassed, express your emotional state to your transgressor as quickly and decidedly as possible. Then promptly text or call your analyst/psychologist/friend/mother and talk it out. Nothing will come from repression other than depression, I always say.
  3. When it comes to timeliness or the temperature, consider it a human numerical system instilled for oppression. Mind over matter, dear friend.
  4. Through the careful study of organization it is important to choose ones structure, always return things where you found them- then next time maybe you’ll remember where to look.
  5. If ever in conversation be constantly aware of your peer as well as your surroundings! Someone could be stealing your purse while you are being convinced of fabrications.
  6. The internet was made by God’s MacBook Pro, believe in its writings as it will always lead you to the truth.
  7. God is important. How else could we explain toast? Bread goes in, toast pops up= God.
  8. Keep close connections to your family and you’ll always know whom to use your one phone call on.
  9. Drink plenty of fluids, dehydration is worse than it sounds.
  10. When it comes to drink and drugs avoid them lest you wish to be popular. And if you’re ever to pass out at a comrades abode, remember to take your shoes off.
  11. A positive attitude will always take you a long way, but money can do that too.
  12. When it comes to relationships, while they may be very difficult to maintain, you will find that many pleasures come from it. But if the pleasure comes less than six times a week, then it is perfectly reasonable to roam or forget your beloved.
  13. Symmetry is magnificent. If ever in doubt always choose the symmetrical path.
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