In this sestina written by Rachel, themes of love, age and art come together and form a beautiful poem. This poem tells a story of a passionate artist, absorbed in his work, and the frustration that his wife feels about being on the back-burner of his life.
The language in this poem mirrors the techniques of an artist, which makes it easy to understand and beautiful to read. Words like “splattered” and “splash” create a strong image for the reader. In addition, because of the sestina style, the end words that Rachel chose are also very important for the poem. Her words were “light,” “forgotten,” “counting,” “painting,” “sorry,” and “time.” All of these words carry such weight with them, I really applaud the work that Rachel put in when she chose them. They worked perfectly with the rest of the content of the poem.
What impressed me the most about this piece was the fact that despite this poem having the strict form of the sestina, Rachel was still able to tell a story with her writing. Her poem stayed consistent all the way through and it all made sense. This is no small feat for the sestina. I honestly could not think of much of a critique for this poem, especially when I compare it to my own sestina (which was quite random compared to this). If I had to choose something, I would say to add more pwer to that final line. Maybe change the wording of “family is more important” to something thats a little less generic, and it might help convey a stronger emotion.
Job well done, Rachel. I really enjoyed this poem.