Raglinus university is in an alternate dimension, where administrative decisions happen that are almost as strange as what happens in our dimension:

Memorandum

From: Jim Spork, Associate Poobah of Physical Resources, Raglinus University

There has been some confusion about the new cars recently added to our motor pool.  To provide some history, a university-wide study was begun four years ago seeking to align our practices to the median results of the Detroit Study.  It was observed that the reverse gear on cars in our fleet is used on average for 0.25 miles for every day of activity, up to a maximum of 0.8 miles.  A detailed audit revealed that the reverse gear adds approximately $7000 to the cost of a car over its lifetime in the motor pool, including initial costs, repairs, and maintenance.  This means that the reverse gear does not meet the university’s standard for cost-effectiveness.  In response, the Office of Physical Resources began a pilot program in which we replaced 10 aging motor pool vehicles with specially-made sedans having no reverse gear.  We anticipate substantial savings in maintenance costs once the entire fleet has been converted to reverseless vehicles.

With no reverse gear, the new sedans do require slightly more care to drive.  Faculty and staff are advised to read the attached brochure which outlines minor modifications to driving style that must be adopted when driving reverseless vehicles.

Drivers must be especially careful when parking: The recommended practice is to find head-to-head adjoining spaces and pull through the first space so as to park in the second facing out.  When parallel parking, seek out spaces next to corners and driveways with no obstructions to forward movement.  Faculty and staff are hereby reminded that towing for reasons other than physical damage or break-down is not eligible for reimbursement as a travel expense.

Faculty and staff wishing to use a car from the motor pool are also now expected to arrive at the Office of Physical Resources 30 minutes prior to use instead of the usual 15.  The additional time is needed in case a reverseless vehicle must be towed out of a facing-in parking space.  This is a temporary measure, needed because the motor pool parking lot currently has insufficient head-to-head spaces for the new cars.  When the lot is repaved and reconfigured next fall, we anticipate having sufficient head-to-head spaces so that all cars can be accessed without the need for towing, and we will return to the 15 minute lead time as soon as possible.

We appreciate your cooperation during this exciting transition,

Jim Spork, Associate Poobah of Physical Resources