Bang spoons onto pots, half naked and siting at the kitchen counter while your baby sitter from Barbados cooks up grilled cheeses and sings country music’s top ten favorite hits. You will have heard her sing this one before, blasting from the radio beside her bed because sometimes you won’t sleep and the apartment will feel empty when they are gone. Don’t worry. She will let you curl up at the foot of her bed, half watching taped reruns of The Young and Restless. She will love you almost as much as a real mom. Imagine the singer, focus on the song. Now, dream.
Barney will forget to come to your fifth birthday party. The apartment will be decorated, entire class from preschool sitting around your living room and chanting. You will have no idea he double booked himself. You’ll simply cry to your father two hours later when all the kids leave and your left admist the barney posters, crumpled napkins and purple cake. You will cry and then mutter and cry out “Daddy, Barney abandoned ship.” He will fix it with very threatening messages on Barney’s cell phone. Barney and Babybop (his best gal pal) will pick you up from class the next day. They will meet all the kids and walk you from Chambers street through city hall, all the way to your red bricked building. Your parents will take pictures and kiss quietly when you are not looking.
You will go off to high school and hate it. And then to college and still sort of hate it. You will up and use the term jump ship. You will make grilled cheeses after every boyfriend leaves you. For breaks, you will go home and you will finally see parents but kissing other people and you’ll walk through City Hall Park to throw a penny in the fountain. You will dig out old photo albums to see which one of them you look like more. And you will wish for a full nights sleep and eventually take Ambian. You will even stop needing dreams.